The Political Orphanage

How America Improved English

Andrew Heaton — Sat, 05 Sep 2026 12:16:00 GMT

Why do Americans pronounce R’s but not spell words with extra U’s? Where did the big split come from?

In this episode we explore how American and British English diverged in terms of pronunciation and spellings, how dictionaries transformed English from a spoken into a primarily written language, and the surprising amount of now standard English words an…

Guys with Swords Control the French Language

Andrew Heaton — Fri, 04 Sep 2026 17:10:37 GMT

Donald Trump has renamed Lake Ontario “Lake America” for federal purposes—but can a president actually rename a place, or only change what the government calls it? Andrew Heaton traces the strange history of who gets to control language, from ancient river names that survived Romans and Normans, to Cardinal Richelieu’s Académie française, to Noah Webster, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and America’s long refusal to appoint an official authority over English. Along the way: French language purism, loanwords, bad translations, official English, and why language usually belongs less to governments than to the people who actually speak it.

I Read the DSA's Platform

Andrew Heaton — Fri, 28 Aug 2026 18:09:53 GMT

The DSA recently released a policy platform establishing the goals of their political movement. In this episode we got through the main planks of that document, namely the bits about “socialism” and “democratic.” We likewise go through a few articles and interviews of prominent DSA members to get an idea of what, in their own words, they’re actually up to. (Spoiler: it’s socialism.)

I'm hosting a Gameshow on Economics

Andrew Heaton — Mon, 24 Aug 2026 13:04:17 GMT

Hello All,

This fall I’m hosting a game show through the Foundation for Economic Education about the Affordability Crisis.

Someone (not me, but maybe you) is going to win $1 million dollars!

FEE has an online quiz (takes about ten minutes) on why prices are going up in the United States. Just click the link and take the quiz. FEE will randomly select a dozen contestants who took it, and we’ll all meet up in Atlanta for an economics gameshow. The grand prize is a million dollars.

One of my mottos is “keep the money in the family,” so all things being equal, I would love it if someone from our community wound up winning!

I have no say whatsoever in who gets tapped, nor will I have influence on who wins--I’m just the high-energy presenter on the day of. But wouldn’t it be cool if a fellow orphan wound up on stage with me in Atlanta, and particularly nifty if they got the million?!

Applicants must be 18 to 35, legal residents of the United States, excluding New York, Florida and Rhode Island.

Million Dollar Question

The Highest-Ranking Animals in History

Andrew Heaton — Sat, 22 Aug 2026 23:24:27 GMT

What happens when animals enter the chain of command? From a mule elected Republican precinct committeeman and Larry the Downing Street cat, to Wojtek the bear, Sergeant Stubby, Staff Sergeant Reckless, a badly behaved Welsh goat, and Major General Sir Nils Olav III—the penguin who holds the same rank as the head of the Norwegian Army—we explore the sur…

Chinese Lobbyists Hate California Pig Laws

Andrew Heaton — Thu, 20 Aug 2026 10:03:42 GMT

The Save Our Bacon Act, now repackaged into the Farm Bill, would upturn state rights in favor of federal prohibitions on animal cruelty laws. It’s being pushed, in large part, by Chinese-owned conglomerates irritated by federalism.

Lewis Bollard is the Farm Animal Welfare Managing Director at Coefficient Giving on Substack. He joins to discuss the Save Our Bacon Act, and the economic tradeoffs of better animal welfare against higher meat prices.

Senate switchboard number: (202) 224-3121

Prior Episode: “Big Ag’s Meat Ethics”

Suggest a Topic for the Orph?

Andrew Heaton — Tue, 18 Aug 2026 14:32:35 GMT

Hello! I regularly get great ideas from listeners, but have decided to quit writing them down on sticky notes and leaving them at crime scenes.

Instead, I’ve built a website specifically for patrons to offer ideas for topics and guests on the show.

It’s a simple website, just one box. Put your suggestion in, and it goes directly to the database I use to…

The Gnostic Gospels

Andrew Heaton — Fri, 14 Aug 2026 10:02:58 GMT

The snake in the Garden is a good guy, and the God in charge of it is a bad guy! Or so the Gnostics thought.

In this (admittedly random) bonus episode, Josh Jennings returns to the show to talk about the Gnostics, a now-defunct Christian sect which once interpreted the person and message of Christ’s in a radically different manner than is understood by …

What Does Nolan Owe The Odyssey?

Andrew Heaton — Thu, 13 Aug 2026 09:47:31 GMT

What is The Odyssey actually about beyond a clever guy trying to get home? Classicist Isabella Reinhardt joins to dig into the poem’s deeper themes of civilization, hospitality, identity, belonging, and what it means for a warrior to return from war.

Then we turn to adaptation itself, and the choices involved in translating an ancient epic for a modern audience. Using Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey as our case study, we ask what an adaptation is free to change, what it has to preserve, and at what point a new version stops being The Odyssey at all.

“All the Gods Suck Except Circe”

Why's Spain Got a Thing in Africa, Anyway?

Andrew Heaton — Thu, 06 Aug 2026 10:03:56 GMT

Last week thousands of people poured over the border from Morocco into a Spanish enclave in North Africa. Raising the question: What’s Spain doing in Africa?

In this episode we cover:

Ceuta, the other Gibraltar
How Carthaginians made our alphabet
The EU ramifications of mass migration

Why Can’t We Have Nice Trains?

Andrew Heaton — Wed, 05 Aug 2026 10:04:21 GMT

It’s not that America won’t spend money on mass transit, it’s that we piss it away when we do. Our transit system is a mess, with a lot of problems in spending, procurement, NIMBYism and good ‘ol fashioned idiocy.

Will Poff-Webster is the Director of Infrastructure Policy at the Institute for Progress, where he works on energy, transportation and housing policy.

Aaron Brown on Shoddy Stats and Sloppy Experts

Andrew Heaton — Fri, 31 Jul 2026 18:21:11 GMT

Aaron Brown is a Bloomberg Opinion columnist and was head of financial market research at AQR Capital Management, capping a 40-year Wall Street career as a trader, portfolio manager, and risk manager at top global firms. Before Wall Street he made his living at poker and sports betting; he has published academic work in finance and game theory, and his …

Richard Hanania on Populism Eating America

Andrew Heaton — Thu, 30 Jul 2026 16:51:30 GMT

Should you trust experts—or trust yourself?

Richard Hanania, author of Kakistocracy: Why Populism Ends in Disaster joins to discuss why populism has become one of the defining forces in modern politics.

We discuss whether elites really deserve their bad reputation, why expertise and institutions matter, where academia and the media have genuinely failed, and whether movements built around “the wisdom of ordinary people” inevitably drift toward conspiracy theories, corruption, and bad governance.

Why Nobody Trusts the News

Andrew Heaton — Thu, 23 Jul 2026 15:00:54 GMT

Why has trust in the news collapsed—and is it really all the media's fault? Tangle founder Isaac Saul joins for a candid conversation about the incentives driving modern journalism, from clickbait and audience capture to ideological groupthink and the collapse of local news. We explore whether readers are rewarding the very coverage they claim to hate, why viewpoint diversity matters inside newsrooms, whether AI poses a real threat to journalism, and what it would actually take to rebuild public trust. It's a nuanced discussion about media, incentives, and why fixing the news may require fixing ourselves first.

Why Creatives Hate Markets

Andrew Heaton — Wed, 22 Jul 2026 21:25:54 GMT

Ever wonder why actors, dancers, and artists are more likely to pine for socialism than insurance claims adjusters or gravel truck managers?

In this episode we go deep into the creative mindset, and why it predisposes people to reject chaotic, unfair, and boorish markets in favor of boards of experts.

Who's Really at Fault for Gerrymandering?

Andrew Heaton — Sat, 18 Jul 2026 19:04:46 GMT

Democrats in California gerrymandered the map to compensate for Republicans in Texas. Of Course, Republicans in Texas claim they’re just catching up with East Coast Democratic malfeasance. Who’s at fault and who’s just balancing the field?

In this bonus episode we go through the timeline from 2026 to 1788 in search of the root bad guy. We cover Cracking …

I Ask an Amish Guy about Everything

Andrew Heaton — Wed, 15 Jul 2026 11:02:20 GMT

Is Rumspringa real? Are Amish people happier than you? Let’s visit Amish country! Heaton visits Muhlenberg County, Ohio, to investigate America’s unique subculture of pacifistic, techno-phobic Anabaptists.

We meet Marcus Yoder, the Executive Director of the Amish and Mennonite Heritage Center, and talk to him about all things Amish. Why do they have weird beards? Why eschew buttons, automobiles, and smartphones? And, crucially… are they onto something?

Revenge of the Non-Profits

Andrew Heaton — Fri, 10 Jul 2026 10:01:36 GMT

Brian Dunning of the Skeptoid podcast returns to The Political Orphanage for a spirited pushback episode on the modern non-profit industry. In a previous conversation, we argued that sprawling tax-exempt organizations can become bloated, unaccountable, and more interested in perpetuating themselves than solving problems. Brian arrives armed with skepticism, data, and counterarguments. Do non-profits actually dodge property taxes? Are giant charities a public good or just corporations with better branding? And when does cynicism about institutions become its own kind of ideological blind spot? This episode dives into philanthropy, incentives, tax policy, and the uneasy overlap between altruism and bureaucracy—with plenty of disagreement along the way.

This interview was edited for purposes of clarity and brevity. When I significantly alter an interview I make the uncut version available, just in case: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1szkeykHYAmerFXpeDTww2o_uHyLsj1_2/view?usp=sharing

A Skeptic Goes to Federal Prison

Andrew Heaton — Wed, 08 Jul 2026 11:00:45 GMT

How does federal prison compare to regular garden variety prison? What are most people there for? What status (and racial) hierarchies exist?

Brian Dunning, host of the Skeptoid podcast, returns to discuss his stint in “Club Fed” and what life in federal prison is like.

Wallace the Dog as Summer Sidekick?

Andrew Heaton — Mon, 06 Jul 2026 19:06:17 GMT

Hello community!

I’m heading to Scotland shortly and figuring out Wallace’s dogsitter situation. I’ve got a good option lined up at a doggy summer camp, but my preference is that Wallace stay with a nice family.

If you’re in reasonable driving distance from OKC, and you’d like to have a canine sidekick for a couple of months, this would make me feel bett…